A Certain Love Letter

I went to a beautiful place for a field visit. But I did not realize that it was your presence that made it so worthwhile. Watching you every day sipping my coffee was like the best morning I could ask for.  The first few days were just glances and hasty eye contacts but then I decided that I would stare at you shamefully no matter what anyone thought.

Your presence was hard to ignore. Your calm face and thrift gestures didn’t match at all but that attracted me the most. Then few conversations began with giggles and smiles I never felt like going back to my room. I might have looked like a creep but observing you was something I did like a routine. Every day after visiting households and doing surveys I waited to come back to you. You looked at me like an ardent listener whenever I spoke. Spending hours in silence is something I could never do with anyone but you.

Remember those long strolls of awkward silences? That was the first time I actually observed how deep my breath can get. I was almost gasping for breath when I saw you in moonlight. It was scary at night and so you walked alongside with me. While walking you brushed against my feet, my face was straight but my body shivered as your touch ran a chill right till the tip of my spine. The wind helped our romance bloom I think. I wondered If I looked pretty when my hair flew over my face like they show in movies.

We never really had a real proper conversation because we didn’t need to. I felt like you and I had a weird kind of telepathy- no questions asked-none answered but the message was clear and crystal. I was in love and it did not matter if you were too. I could not possibly guess if you were because your tidal mood swings surprised me all the time. You were so beautiful that I thought everyone had a crush on you. Well, I love you and that’s all that matters to me.

Days passed and it was time to go. I owed you a proper goodbye.

 My voice felt heavy as I spoke,"You have been generous. You listened to my rants on how sometimes I felt helpless, empowered, amazed, furious and sometimes all of the above at once. I remember how you washed off my anxieties before I met people who struggled every day to make life look like it has never been better for them. Every time I met  people I came to you telling you things I can't say out loud because I was scared I may not have answers to their questions and mine. Today is the last time we meet. Thank you. I will see you again."

I waved good bye.

Like always you waved back and waved at me till one of us was out of sight.

A beach can make you feel like a lover without even having one.